Since I stumbled upon this link this morning, I haven’t been able to resist sharing it on every social networking site I have. I think that this blog post reminds couples of something that is often easily forgotten when things get hard: a great relationship doesn’t just magically happen.
I’ll admit, GOOD relationships happen. You meet someone and you keep in touch, you become friends, and you share a couple things. GREAT relationships require work like this link says. And that’s true not only of romantic relationships but also of friendships. In some ways it seems counterintuitive that you should need to work on a relationship, but really it makes perfect sense because if you stop feeding it, it’s gonna die just like anything else that’s living. That’s the truth.
In fact, I enjoyed just about everything on this list. It’s simply an amazingly comprehensive list from taking care of yourself to building the other person up instead of tearing them down. Some of us may thrive on snarky relationships built on cutting comments, but in my experience those aren’t the ones that last. The friendships and relationships that stick around are the ones where people feel secure enough in themselves to build th other up.
I especially like the line that ANGER IS A WASTE OF TIME. I have never read a truer statement in my life. Anger is perhaps one of the least productive emotions on the face of the planet in my opinion. Sure, it can spur you on to take care of something that needed to be taken care of, but more often than not, it’s simply going to ruin your day. However, unfortunately for the human race, hormonal women, and rational alien invaders, anger is an irrational part of human nature. Even if it is irrational though, we have to deal with it. So, finding ways to channel and diffuse anger can be one of the best skills around because you can use it to calm both yourself and others down. “Righteous anger” is a pretty popular phrase, but most of the time when people use it, what they really mean is is they refuse to see the other side of the issue. Only they can be right. Thus, anger has now gone beyond productive and into the stalled stage of self-centered agony. It feels good for about a minute when you’re ranting, but afterward….well, let’s just say I speak from experience.
Finally, I love the line about getting regular tune-ups. Especially important in romantic relationships, they are also vital to platonic friendships. Taking a weekend to have time with a friend you don’t see all that often and actually talk about stuff will do wonders for a friendship you might be looking to keep. I think that admitting to needing a “tune-up” as this blog post so eloquently puts it is a very self-aware and brave thing to admit to. Sometimes it’s hard for me to admit I need a personal fixer-upper much less one for a relationship.
The list of ten truths is something to take to heart in regard to every sort of relationship we might be cultivating….but especially a relationship you want to last a long long time.